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11 Basic Rules Raising Children By Nanny Stella
03:39 Posted In Basic rules , behavior , child , consequences , consistency , listen , Nanny 911 , Nanny Stella , promise , Raising , respect , style , the elderly , working together Edit ThisKOMPAS.com - loyal audience the show Nanny 911 will familiar with the name of Nanny Stella. This event has a lot of spectators because of the nanny who was involved to help the family achieve cooperation and turn chaos into calm in just 7 days.
Some time ago, Nanny Stella visited Jakarta to share the basic rule 11 (11 Commandments) in raising children. These rules he had made with one friend, Nanny Deb, who also participated in the event. Experiences for approximately 15 years of parenting, plus education for 2 years at the National Nursery Education Board made him the confidence to publish these 11 basic rules. According to him, this basic rule cross age, cross country, not situational, not emotional, absolute, and is made to avoid bad actions that could have happened in the future.
Here are the 11 rules, which delivered Nanny Stella in his seminar on JITEC, Mangga Dua Square, Jakarta, Saturday (7/12/09) ago.
Be consistent
No means no. Yes, it means yes. If you want to impose "timeout" to your child, do it. Do not stop or cancel it just because there are distractions.
Every action has consequences
Good behavior rewarded. Bad behavior punished. Give an explanation if there is a reward for something good that he did, or punishment if he made a mistake. For example, you and your family going on vacation to a nice vacation spot if the child can reach great numbers in the report. Or, if you are lazy to learn, he will live classroom.
Say what you want
Think before you speak, or feel the consequences. If the child has violated your command, then the punishment must also be clear, and you have to do the punishment. If you violate your own reward system, then the child will get used to ignore the punishment that you set for other things. Get ready, because this would lead to dissent.
Parents work together as a team
If you and your partner do not mutually agree on one thing, your child will not know whom to listen. The result, he would not listen to anybody. This not only applies to you and your partner, but also for all those who are in places you raise the child. Whether it's nanny, mother-father, grandparents, uncles, aunts, all those involved with the child. Do not let anyone have the words opposite to each other, because the child can result in confusion and even worse for him.
Do not promise if it can not be observed
If you promise something to the child, make sure the promise is fulfilled. If you could not give promise to the children, better not say. Because of broken promises can be a very painful thing for the child.
Listen to your kids
Acknowledge their feelings. Say, "I understand", but said earnestly, then take the time to really listen to you. Because they need someone who can and want to listen to their complaints. If they lean to the wrong person, the result could be no right thing for him. Try to be their friend and listen to what they feel. Feel the pleasure of the people who understand their closest.
Set routines
Routine makes your child feel secure and give structure to the time that they have. But not necessarily have to follow the schedule in accordance hours. "Routines are important, so that the children learned what they would do next. No need on an hourly, based routines can. In this way they learn order. For example, after playing in the afternoon, they bathe, eat dinner, brush your teeth , wash your feet, and sleep, "said Nanny Stella.
The respect goes both ways
If you do not respect your kids, they will not respect you. The statute "treat others as you want to be treated". Honor them by providing what they are entitled to without delay, as well as listen to what they want to say.
Positive reinforcement is better than negative reinforcement
Flattery, praise, and pride far more useful than being bitchy, negative, and ignored. It's better to say positive reinforcement to communicate your intentions, rather than pointing to a label adjectives. For example, "I'm glad to see the efforts you improve your math score" better than, "You're smart. Value of Mathematics you've got 1 point in the report card". When you label a point, he will stop there and not trying to develop.
Behavior are universal
Good behavior accepted by anyone. Model him to say "thank you, please, or excuse" to those that intersect. Wherever, polite always necessary. Teach good manners to him through your actions. Children like a blank tape to record whatever they see of the people, or what he witnessed. So, give him the best examples.
Define your role as a parent
It's not your job to make kids stick to you. Your task is to prepare children to face the outside world, and let her be herself. Do not always stick and help her with everything. Occasionally he had to learn to deal with the pain, sense of failure, also can not think. This is important so that he could find a way to overcome the limitations
source: web female.kompas.com
Some time ago, Nanny Stella visited Jakarta to share the basic rule 11 (11 Commandments) in raising children. These rules he had made with one friend, Nanny Deb, who also participated in the event. Experiences for approximately 15 years of parenting, plus education for 2 years at the National Nursery Education Board made him the confidence to publish these 11 basic rules. According to him, this basic rule cross age, cross country, not situational, not emotional, absolute, and is made to avoid bad actions that could have happened in the future.
Here are the 11 rules, which delivered Nanny Stella in his seminar on JITEC, Mangga Dua Square, Jakarta, Saturday (7/12/09) ago.
Be consistent
No means no. Yes, it means yes. If you want to impose "timeout" to your child, do it. Do not stop or cancel it just because there are distractions.
Every action has consequences
Good behavior rewarded. Bad behavior punished. Give an explanation if there is a reward for something good that he did, or punishment if he made a mistake. For example, you and your family going on vacation to a nice vacation spot if the child can reach great numbers in the report. Or, if you are lazy to learn, he will live classroom.
Say what you want
Think before you speak, or feel the consequences. If the child has violated your command, then the punishment must also be clear, and you have to do the punishment. If you violate your own reward system, then the child will get used to ignore the punishment that you set for other things. Get ready, because this would lead to dissent.
Parents work together as a team
If you and your partner do not mutually agree on one thing, your child will not know whom to listen. The result, he would not listen to anybody. This not only applies to you and your partner, but also for all those who are in places you raise the child. Whether it's nanny, mother-father, grandparents, uncles, aunts, all those involved with the child. Do not let anyone have the words opposite to each other, because the child can result in confusion and even worse for him.
Do not promise if it can not be observed
If you promise something to the child, make sure the promise is fulfilled. If you could not give promise to the children, better not say. Because of broken promises can be a very painful thing for the child.
Listen to your kids
Acknowledge their feelings. Say, "I understand", but said earnestly, then take the time to really listen to you. Because they need someone who can and want to listen to their complaints. If they lean to the wrong person, the result could be no right thing for him. Try to be their friend and listen to what they feel. Feel the pleasure of the people who understand their closest.
Set routines
Routine makes your child feel secure and give structure to the time that they have. But not necessarily have to follow the schedule in accordance hours. "Routines are important, so that the children learned what they would do next. No need on an hourly, based routines can. In this way they learn order. For example, after playing in the afternoon, they bathe, eat dinner, brush your teeth , wash your feet, and sleep, "said Nanny Stella.
The respect goes both ways
If you do not respect your kids, they will not respect you. The statute "treat others as you want to be treated". Honor them by providing what they are entitled to without delay, as well as listen to what they want to say.
Positive reinforcement is better than negative reinforcement
Flattery, praise, and pride far more useful than being bitchy, negative, and ignored. It's better to say positive reinforcement to communicate your intentions, rather than pointing to a label adjectives. For example, "I'm glad to see the efforts you improve your math score" better than, "You're smart. Value of Mathematics you've got 1 point in the report card". When you label a point, he will stop there and not trying to develop.
Behavior are universal
Good behavior accepted by anyone. Model him to say "thank you, please, or excuse" to those that intersect. Wherever, polite always necessary. Teach good manners to him through your actions. Children like a blank tape to record whatever they see of the people, or what he witnessed. So, give him the best examples.
Define your role as a parent
It's not your job to make kids stick to you. Your task is to prepare children to face the outside world, and let her be herself. Do not always stick and help her with everything. Occasionally he had to learn to deal with the pain, sense of failure, also can not think. This is important so that he could find a way to overcome the limitations
source: web female.kompas.com
