Recognize the Child Temper Tantrum3

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1. Tantrum prevent
2. Tackling child who is experiencing Tantrum
3. Tackling the post Tantrum

Prevention
The first step to prevent the Tantrum is to recognize the child's habits, and
know exactly the conditions of what appears Tantrum on the child. For example, if parents know that children are active children and easy stress if too long silent in the car on long trips. So that he does not Tantrum, parents need to arrange for the journey often endeavored to rest on the road, to allow time for the kids run around outside the car.

Tantrum also be triggered because the stress of school work to do son. In this case accompany children when he was working on the tasks of the school (not making tasks lho!) And teaching things that are considered difficult, will help reduce stress on the child because the school burden. Accompanying children are not even confined to school assignments, but also in the games, the child should be accompanied by a parent too, so when he had difficulty parents can help by giving instructions.

The second step in preventing Tantrum is to see how the parents care for their children.
Is the child too pampered? Do parents act too protect (over protective), and too much like the ban? Are both parents are always unanimous, one word in parenting? Do parents showed consistency in word and deed?

If you feel too much and spoil the child, too protect and often forbid children to do activities that children really are needed, do not be surprised if your child will easily tantrums if his will is not obeyed. Consistency and common perceptions of parenting is also a very important role. If there is disagreement, parents should not be debated and argued with each other in front of the children, so as not to cause confusion and insecurity in children. Parents should keep children always saw that her parents always agree and get along.

When Tantrum Happen
If Tantrum can not be prevented and continue to occur, then some action should be done by parents is:

1. Make sure everything is safe. If Tantrum occurs in public, and move the child to a safe place to vent her emotions. During Tantrum (at home or outside the home), keep children from things, good things that endanger themselves or even if he is endangering the existence of these objects. Or if during Tantrum child so hurt friends and her own parents, keep the child from her friend and remove yourself from the child.

2. Parents should stay calm, trying to keep his own emotions to remain calm. Keep your emotions do not get hit and shouted angrily at the child.

3. Tantrum ignoring children (ignore). During Tantrum progress, should not be persuaded, cajoled, do not argue, do not give moral advice to stop Tantrumnya children, because children did not respond / listen. Tantrum stop business as usual even as it poured gasoline on the fire, the longer the child will Tantrumnya and increased intensity. It is best to let it. Tantrum ended even more quickly if the parents do not try to menghentikannnya by persuasion or coercion.

4. If Tantrum behavior from minute to minute even get worse and not over-done, as long as the child
do not beat you, hug a child with love. But if it can not hug a child with love (as you yourself feel embarrassed and annoyed with the child's behavior), at least you are sitting or standing close to him. During the program do not need her advice or complaint (by saying: "you are so hell kok nak, make mama-papa sad"; "it's great you do not like a kid again dong"), if you want to say something, just for example by saying "mommy / daddy love you", "mama is here until you're finished". The important thing here is to ensure that children feel safe and know that parents have and do not refuse (abandon) him.

When Tantrum BANTARA

Tantrum When children have stopped, no matter how severe the emotional explosion that has happened is, not followed by punishment, advice, rebuke, or innuendo. Also, do not give any reward, and the child still can not get what you want (if it happens because Tantrum wants something). With still not giving what they want the child, parents will look consistent and the child will learn that he could not manipulate his parents.

Give my love and security of your child. Invite a child, reading a book or play a bike together. Show the child, though he had done wrong, as your parents still love them.

After Tantrum end, parents need to evaluate why it happened Tantrum. Is it really wrong child or parent who either respond to acts / desires a child? Or because the child was tired, frustrated, hungry, or sick? Need to rethink this, so that parents can prevent the next Tantrum.

If the child is considered wrong, parents need to think to teach children values or new ways that children do not repeat mistakes. If it wants to teach and give advice, do not do after Tantrum over, but do it when things are calm and comfortable for parents and children. When a quiet and comfortable is when Tantrum has not yet begun, even when there is no sign of going Tantrum. When parents and children are happy, do not feel frustrated, tired and hungry is an ideal time.

From the description above can be seen that if parents have children who "difficult" and easy to Tantrum, of course not entirely fair to say that parents' fault. But it must be admitted that the parent who has a role to guide the child to regulate their emotions and facilitate the child's life to Tantrum not constantly pop. Some of the suggestions above may be useful for you especially for the
mother / young fathers who have not had experience of parenting. Happy reading, may be useful. (Jp)

Oleh Martina Rini S. Tasmin, SPsi.
Jakarta, 29 April 2002

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Recognize the Child Temper Tantrum2

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3. Age of 5 years and over
• these behaviors in the 2 (two) above the age categories
• Swearing
• swearing
• Hitting brother / sister or a friend
• Criticize yourself
• Solving the goods with the purpose
• Threatening

Factor Cause

There are several factors that can cause Tantrum. Among them are as follows:

1. Obstruction of a child's desire to get something.
Having failed to ask for something and still want it, the child may have used the method to suppress Tantrum parents to get what he wants, as in the case in the beginning.

2. The inability of children to express themselves.
The children have limited language, there are times when he wanted to express something but could not, and orangtuapun could not understand what is wanted. These conditions may trigger the child becomes frustrated and expressed in the form of Tantrum.

3. Unfulfilled needs.
Active child needs time and room enough to move and not be silent for a long time. If one day these children have a long journey by car (and the means for a long time he could not move freely), he will feel stress. One possible way of releasing stress is Tantrum. Another example: a child needs a chance to try new skills they have. For example 3-year-olds who want to try to feed themselves, or 4-year old son wants to get a drink of using glass containers, but not allowed by the parent or caregiver. So to vent anger or upset because it was not allowed, he used the method to Tantrum
allowed.

4. Parents parenting
The way parents care for children also have a role to cause Tantrum. Children who are too pampered and
always get what you want, can Tantrum as the time the request was rejected. For children
that are too protected and dominated by his parents, once upon a time the child may be reacting against the dominance of the parent with Tantrum behavior. Parents who are inconsistent parenting can also cause the child Tantrum. For example, parents who do not have any clear pattern to prohibit any time to allow the child to do something and the parents who often threatened to punish but never punished. Children will be confused by parents and the Tantrum when parents actually punished. Or the father-mother who does not agree with each other, which allows one child, the other forbids. Children may be Tantrum to get his wish and consent of both parents.

5. Children feel tired, hungry, or in sickness.

6. Children under stress (due to school work, etc.) and because of feeling unsafe (insecure).

Action
Tantrums in the book Secret to Calming the Storm (La Forge: 1996) many child development experts assess that Tantrum is a behavior that is still relatively normal, which is part of the development process, a period of physical development, cognitive and emotional children. As part of the development process, Tantrum episode would end. Some positive things that can be seen from the behavior Tantrum Tantrum is that the child wants to demonstrate its independence, to express individuality, his opinion, took out her anger and frustration and make adults understand if they were confused, tired or sick. However, it does not mean that Tantrum should be commended and encouraged (encourage).

If parents let Tantrum power (by allowing the child to get what he wanted after he Tantrum, as illustrated above) or react with punishments harsh and coercion-coercion, it means that parents are encouraging and give examples for children to act violent and aggressive ( when in fact their parents would not agree and do not want it). With the mistake in dealing with Tantrum, parents also lost a good opportunity to teach children about how to react to the emotions that are normal (anger, frustration, fear, annoyance, etc.) are reasonable and how to act in appropriate ways so as not to hurt self and others
when you're feeling the emotion.

The question most parents is the best way of dealing with children who have Tantrum. To answer these questions we try to give some suggestions on what actions should be done by parents to overcome this. These actions are divided into 3 (three) parts, namely:

Recognize the Child Temper Tantrum

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Brenda was crying, screaming and rolling on the floor because her mother demanded to buy toy cars in a hypermarket in Jakarta? Her mother had tried to persuade Andi and said that was a lot of cars at his home. But Andi became even more-so. His mother became awkward, embarrassed and helpless to face his son. On the one hand, she did not want to buy the toy because there are other needs more pressing. But on the other hand, if you do not buy it worry Andi would scream longer and louder, so everyone's attention and people might think he is a cruel parent. His mother became confused ....., and then finally he was forced to purchase a desired toy Andi. Is the Mother of action?

Temper Tantrum

The incident above is an event known as a Temper Tantrums or emotion explosive and uncontrolled. Temper Tantrum (hereinafter referred to as Tantrum) often occur in children younger than 15 (fifteen) months up to 6 (six) years.

Tantrum usually occurs in children active with abundant energy. Tantrum also more apt to occur in children who are considered "difficult", with characteristics as follows:

1. Have a habit of sleeping, eating and bowel irregularities.
2. It's hard to like the situation, food and new people.
3. Slow to adapt to change.
4. Moodnya (mood) is more often negative.
5. Easily provoked, it's easy to feel angry / upset.
6. Hard distracted.

Tantrum manifested in various behaviors. Below are some examples Tantrum behavior, according to age level:

1. Under the age of 3 years:
• Crying
• Biting
• Hitting
• Kicking
• Screaming
• squealing
• arch your back
• Throw the body on the floor
• Hitting-hand moves
• Hold breath
• head banging
• throwing things

2. The age of 3 - 4 years:
• behaviors mentioned above
•-stomping foot stomping
• Yelling
• Punching
• slammed the door
• Criticizing
• Whining



By Martina Rini S. Tasmin, SPSI.
Jakarta, 29 April 2002

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