Recognize the Child Temper Tantrum3

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1. Tantrum prevent
2. Tackling child who is experiencing Tantrum
3. Tackling the post Tantrum

The first step to prevent the Tantrum is to recognize the child's habits, and
know exactly the conditions of what appears Tantrum on the child. For example, if parents know that children are active children and easy stress if too long silent in the car on long trips. So that he does not Tantrum, parents need to arrange for the journey often endeavored to rest on the road, to allow time for the kids run around outside the car.

Tantrum also be triggered because the stress of school work to do son. In this case accompany children when he was working on the tasks of the school (not making tasks lho!) And teaching things that are considered difficult, will help reduce stress on the child because the school burden. Accompanying children are not even confined to school assignments, but also in the games, the child should be accompanied by a parent too, so when he had difficulty parents can help by giving instructions.

The second step in preventing Tantrum is to see how the parents care for their children.
Is the child too pampered? Do parents act too protect (over protective), and too much like the ban? Are both parents are always unanimous, one word in parenting? Do parents showed consistency in word and deed?

If you feel too much and spoil the child, too protect and often forbid children to do activities that children really are needed, do not be surprised if your child will easily tantrums if his will is not obeyed. Consistency and common perceptions of parenting is also a very important role. If there is disagreement, parents should not be debated and argued with each other in front of the children, so as not to cause confusion and insecurity in children. Parents should keep children always saw that her parents always agree and get along.

When Tantrum Happen
If Tantrum can not be prevented and continue to occur, then some action should be done by parents is:

1. Make sure everything is safe. If Tantrum occurs in public, and move the child to a safe place to vent her emotions. During Tantrum (at home or outside the home), keep children from things, good things that endanger themselves or even if he is endangering the existence of these objects. Or if during Tantrum child so hurt friends and her own parents, keep the child from her friend and remove yourself from the child.

2. Parents should stay calm, trying to keep his own emotions to remain calm. Keep your emotions do not get hit and shouted angrily at the child.

3. Tantrum ignoring children (ignore). During Tantrum progress, should not be persuaded, cajoled, do not argue, do not give moral advice to stop Tantrumnya children, because children did not respond / listen. Tantrum stop business as usual even as it poured gasoline on the fire, the longer the child will Tantrumnya and increased intensity. It is best to let it. Tantrum ended even more quickly if the parents do not try to menghentikannnya by persuasion or coercion.

4. If Tantrum behavior from minute to minute even get worse and not over-done, as long as the child
do not beat you, hug a child with love. But if it can not hug a child with love (as you yourself feel embarrassed and annoyed with the child's behavior), at least you are sitting or standing close to him. During the program do not need her advice or complaint (by saying: "you are so hell kok nak, make mama-papa sad"; "it's great you do not like a kid again dong"), if you want to say something, just for example by saying "mommy / daddy love you", "mama is here until you're finished". The important thing here is to ensure that children feel safe and know that parents have and do not refuse (abandon) him.

When Tantrum BANTARA

Tantrum When children have stopped, no matter how severe the emotional explosion that has happened is, not followed by punishment, advice, rebuke, or innuendo. Also, do not give any reward, and the child still can not get what you want (if it happens because Tantrum wants something). With still not giving what they want the child, parents will look consistent and the child will learn that he could not manipulate his parents.

Give my love and security of your child. Invite a child, reading a book or play a bike together. Show the child, though he had done wrong, as your parents still love them.

After Tantrum end, parents need to evaluate why it happened Tantrum. Is it really wrong child or parent who either respond to acts / desires a child? Or because the child was tired, frustrated, hungry, or sick? Need to rethink this, so that parents can prevent the next Tantrum.

If the child is considered wrong, parents need to think to teach children values or new ways that children do not repeat mistakes. If it wants to teach and give advice, do not do after Tantrum over, but do it when things are calm and comfortable for parents and children. When a quiet and comfortable is when Tantrum has not yet begun, even when there is no sign of going Tantrum. When parents and children are happy, do not feel frustrated, tired and hungry is an ideal time.

From the description above can be seen that if parents have children who "difficult" and easy to Tantrum, of course not entirely fair to say that parents' fault. But it must be admitted that the parent who has a role to guide the child to regulate their emotions and facilitate the child's life to Tantrum not constantly pop. Some of the suggestions above may be useful for you especially for the
mother / young fathers who have not had experience of parenting. Happy reading, may be useful. (Jp)

Oleh Martina Rini S. Tasmin, SPsi.
Jakarta, 29 April 2002

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